Anime Laws of Physics – Part 3

Welcome to the last segment of the Anime Laws of Physics.  (Last, that is, unless I decide to be creative and come up with some of my own.)  Thanks again to Ryan Shellito and Darrin Brigh for these hilarious items.  As always, I’ve taken the titles of their Laws and expounded on them just a tad.

Twenty-first Law of Anime Physics: Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
Wounded
If something has gone unnoticed, it holds no consequence.  This law usually involves wounds the size of Texas or missing body parts.  Until the injury has been noticed, it has no effect.

Twenty-second Law of Anime Physics: Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Child
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

Twenty-third Law of Anime Physics: Law of Mandibular Proportionality
(from A. Hicks, Tom Williams, and Ben Leinweber)
Nom nom nom
The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

Twenty-fourth Law of Anime Physics: Law of Feline Mutation
(from A. Hicks)
Neko mimi
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably be female and possess cat ears and/or tail as a result of the mutation.

Twenty-fifth Law of Anime Physics: Law of Conservation of Firepower
(from Tom Williams)
Giant Gun
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.  After all, there needs to be SOME sort of suspense. :P

Twenty-sixth Law of Anime Physics: Law of Technological User-Benevolence
(from Tom Williams)
Gurren Lagann
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.  The most complex of mecha can be piloted through nothing more than the fighting spirit (also known as the Lagann Principle).

Twenty-seventh Law of Anime Physics: Law of Melee Luminescence
(from Tom Williams)
Dragonball Glow
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for ‘good guys’ and red for ‘bad guys’. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

Twenty-eighth Law of Anime Physics: Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism
(from Tom Williams)
O.O
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.  Apparently in non-humanoid alien races, Envy goes a step too far.

Twenty-ninth Law of Anime Physics: Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability
(from Spellweaver)
Pink Hair
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.  This is sometimes attributed to the genes that also give anime characters such pointy faces and thin bodies.

Thirtieth Law of Anime Physics: Law of Follicular Permanence
Perfect Hair
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is with bladed weapons!

Thirty-first Law of Anime Physics: Law of Cryo-Adaptability
Winter Shorts
All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.  They’re basically the opposite of reptiles, their bodies constantly adjust to the opposite of outside temperatures, making them continually comfortable.

Thirty-second Law of Anime Physics: Law of Indecent Invulnerability
(from Nyctomania)
Little Armor
Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.  In fact, bikini armor is one of the most protective substances known to man.

Thirty-third Law of Anime Physics: Law of Nasal Sanguination
(from Ryan Pritchard and Jason Aylen)
Nosebleed
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though… the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue. Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

Thirty-fourth Law of Anime Physics: Law of Nominative Clamovocation
(from Luiko-Ysabeth and Adrian Hsiah)
Kamehameha
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced. (Also known as the Goku Principle.)

Thirty-fifth Law of Anime Physics: Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
(from R. A. Hubby and Nateal Falk)
Transformation Sequence
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before a transformation sequence will not be halted. Some attribute this to the fact that antagonists witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. Others believe that anime characters have an innate ability to slip into an extra-dimensional space shielded from the world that allows them as much time as they desire for their transformation sequence.

Thirty-sixth Law of Anime Physics: Law of Flimsy Incognition
(from Conrad Knauer)
Itty Bitty Mask
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.  This is because anime characters don’t deal well with change, especially in appearance.  After all, most anime characters never wear differently styled clothing through an entire series — any chance in that routine can throw the people around for a serious loop.

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One thought on “Anime Laws of Physics – Part 3

  1. your missing some numbers. so i demand either renumbering or more anime laws of physics, preferable mor elaws.

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