I brought to you the first ten laws of anime physics in an earlier post. Now, here we have 11 – 20. Thanks again to Ryan Shellito and Darrin Brigh for these hilarious items. As always, I’ve taken the titles of their Laws and expounded on them just a tad.
Eleventh Anime Law of Physics: The Law of Inherent Combustibility
Everything explodes. Everything. Often times, if something explodes, it first bulges in some fashion. In fact, explosions can happen in anything from humans to space stations to trees. Truthfully, manmade cities are the most combustible substance known to man, exploding more frequently than any other substance, natural or synthetic.
Twelfth Anime Law of Physics: The Law of Phlogistatic Emission
When fatally wounded, nearly all things will emit a spontaneous, extremely bright light. Even inanimate objects have this property.
Thirteenth Anime Law of Physics: The Law of Energetic Emission
Whenever a mecha or a space station or even a futuristic weapon fires, there is a “bulge” of energy that forms before the weapon actually fires. This energy buildup is sometimes thought to relate to the Law of Inherent Combustibility. You can see this in some creatures as well, such as in Pokemon or other similar anime.
Fourteenth Anime Law of Physics: Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitutde
The destructive potential of any one item is inversely proportionate to it’s mass. This is why small, thin-framed schoolgirls can routinely punch something so hard it goes flying into next week. It must also be mentioned that small-and-cute will always defeat big-and-ugly. The property “kawaii” in anime is directly proportionate to the kawaii object’s lethality.
Fiftheenth Anime Law of Physics: Law of Inexhaustibility
Ammunition is infinite. That is, unless the person in need of ammo is cornered, outnumbered, unconscious, or out-classed. This would also lead to the idea that natural resources are also infinite in anime worlds. There is always enough metal to produce the infinite ammunition.
Sixteenth Anime Law of Physics: Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a ‘Good Guy’ when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the ‘Bad Guys’ when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Storm trooper Effect) Example: A ‘Good Guy’ in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of ‘Bad Guys’ firing on a ‘Good Guy’ standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. The more ‘Bad Guys’ there are, the less likely any of them are to hit a ‘Good Guy’. Whenever a ‘Good Guy’ is faced with insurmountable odds, the ‘Bad Guys’ line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Seventeenth Anime Law of Physics: Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
The main romantic leads of any anime will always be unreliable in some fashion.
Eighteenth Anime Law of Physics: Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains no less than 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more. This blood is always under intense pressure. Release of this liquid is often extremely volatile.
Nineteenth Anime Law of Physics: Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons always have one of the following at least: many teeth, abnormally sharp teeth, three or more eyes, yellow/red eyes, yellow/red/black skin. Demons can also only be hurt by bladed weapons.
Twentieth Anime Law of Physics: Law of Militaric Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song. Whenever a single ship/tank/soldier goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.
Stay tuned for the next installment!