G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Review)

I just got home from seeing G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.  The movie has seen a lot of very lukewarm reviews.  I must admit I was fairly pleased.

Overall Grade: 70 Points; B-

  • Basic Information (No Points Applicable):  Described as an Action/Sci-Fi/Adventure/Thriller, G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra was written by Stuart Beattie and David Elliot.  Stephen Sommers, known for directing such films as The Mummy and Van Helsing.  Released in the United States on August 7th, 2009, the film had already made $56.2 million three days later, skyrocketing to the top of the Box Office ratings, the second movie on the list not even coming close at $20.1 million.  The premise is simple, as far as Action Films are concerned, however, it was fairly compelling.  The regular guys fail their mission and are saved by the Black Ops team, who are then betrayed by the man who had hired them in the first place.   Christopher Eccleston stars as McCullen, the “bad guy.”  Rachel Nichols takes the role of “Scarlett” O’hara.  Ray Park took the character Snake Eyes, while Channing Tatum took on Duke Hazard.
  • Directing (15/20 Points):  This was, at heart, an action film.  Because of that, it’s not surprising that very few liberties were taken with the directing.  I think that Sommers did a bang-up job working with his crew.  There were a few cinematic choices I didn’t necessarily agree with, some camera angles that felt a little strained or forced, one too many LOUD explosions…  But all in all, it was a fairly solid ream of directing.
  • Characters (12/20 Points):  I was unfortunately a bit disappointed with the characters in G.I. Joe.  It wasn’t that they left some of the best Joes out or anything, simply that their characters seemed to be forced into depth.  The stories were compelling, but rushed!  Every few minutes, we were thrust into another flashback from one character or another, pushing through Snake Eyes’ backstory with Storm Shadow.  Scarlett threw in tiny tidbits of herself between Ripchord’s heavy-handed attempts at her hotness.  Ana was a tragic unfortunate soul saved by the wonderful Duke Hazard.
  • Dialogue/Writing (17/20 Points): For an Action film, I thought the writing was FANTASTIC.  There were some great throwbacks to the old cartoon version.  Some moments that needed to be were tender and compelling, while others were genuinely spine-tingling.
  • Soundtrack (5/10 Points): The Soundtrack was honestly just average.  There’s nothing else to say there.
  • Overall Story (25/30 Points): While the story itself wasn’t original, it was an engaging story.  There were parts that kept me on the edge of my seat and other parts that gave me goosebumps.  I don’t want to give away too many spoilers, but as far as action films usually go, it wasn’t all guns and explosions (while there were a good number of those).  Everything tied together very nicely, even if it did come together in sort of a rushing waterfall fashion.  It was a well-thought-out method, if nothing else.
  • Personal Opinion (+6 Points):  Before this addition, the points ranked the movie as a “C”.  That’s a fairly average movie, as the “C” grade does invoke the average mien.  However, for the first time in a long time, I truly enjoyed myself at this movie, which makes it more than simply average, in my opinion.

Scarlett and Snake Eyes

Remember, everyone, the Grading System is as follows:
A: 90 — 100 Points
B: 70 – 89 Points
C: 60 – 79 Points
D: 40 – 59 Points
F: 39 Points or less


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